• Gillian

4 Steps to Coping with Grief

For many people, including myself, Mother’s Day can be very triggering. It is normal for occasions and dates to trigger grief responses. Grief is a process with no fixed timespan. Each person’s experience is unique to them and the process is rarely a straight line.

Kubler-Ross and Kessler identified five stages of the grieving process: denial, anger, depression, bargaining and acceptance. These can help us to frame and identify feelings, which provides tools to better equip us to deal with loss. However, not everyone will experience all of them in a prescribed order. The emotions attached to these stages can be very powerful and it is not unusual to feel helpless, confused or the desire to evaluate our own mortality.

Although no one will be able to take away these feelings or fully understand all the emotions you are going through, talking to trusted others can provide some relief and comfort as you allow yourself to feel the grief. Surrendering to the process rather than resisting it or looking for distractions, will support healing.

To help with the process of grief:

  1. Experience the rollercoaster of feelings, and remember these are normal.

  2. Seek support, even though you may want to isolate yourself.

  3. Self care – do anything that you enjoy to restore balance.

  4. Be patient, as the grief process can take years; it is different for each and every person.


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